It’s well-known that anything left on its own will decay. That means whatever we’re not working to strengthen is getting weaker.
Building a great marriage takes purposeful, daily effort using tools from God’s Word. Here are three tips for building your marriage and keeping it strong.
- Do Things Together
Find something you enjoy doing together—like going for a walk, riding a bike, reading a book, or talking about something. Spending time together is a big part of building your relationship. When you get married, you promise to stay together, not stay the same. The person you married all those years ago changes every year, just as you do. So it’s important to date your spouse.
We have a relationship with God and we are saved, but God wants our fellowship too. He wants us to talk to Him and listen to Him. The relationship with your spouse is no different. That talking and listening is what creates intimacy—especially over the years as you change. Marriage has to be more than just sleeping in the same bed, paying bills, and sharing a mortgage payment.
Start visiting with your spouse and getting to know him or her all over again!
- Dream Together
Dreaming is something you used to do as a kid. Your best buddies and you would dream when you were in elementary school. You did it before you got married—you dreamed about what your life would be like, where you would live, what you would be doing, and how many kids you would have.
Do you want to maintain a healthy marriage? Dream together. Many day-to-day conversations in marriage end up being about maintenance—bills, crooked teeth, or broken dryer doors.
According to Proverbs 13:12, hope deferred makes the heart sick. You need to dream about your future together. Try a five-year plan, a five-month plan, or a five-week plan. The idea is to talk about where you want to be headed. Get detailed or keep it simple; the point is to write something down. We are to “write the vision and make it plain” so that we can run together (Hab. 2:2).
Jesus didn’t find a church; He built one (Matt. 16:18). it’s no different with marriage. We don’t find a great marriage; we build one.
- Pray Together
According to Matthew 18:19, when you get together as a couple and agree about your future, powerful things start to happen.
Plus, it’s really hard to lose it when you’re praying together. That doesn’t mean things will be perfect. But when you’re committed to seeking God together and using His Word as the guide for your life, you’re on the right path.
Sometimes you’ll say, “Hey, come here a second. Let’s pray about this real quick.” Other times it will be more planned. But never overlook the quick moments to get into agreement on something. Nothing is too small or too big to believe for together. When spouses pray together, an incredible bonding takes place that causes your intimacy to grow.
In addition to praying with your spouse, you need to pray for them. It’s difficult to complain about your spouse when you are taking him or her to God in prayer regularly.
A marriage is a problem-solving team. When you get into agreement in the Word of God, you’ll see great things happen!
Faith in Action
Take the ‘Happy’ Challenge
Ask yourself, “What one thing can I do to make my spouse happy today?” It doesn’t have to be big or something you have to buy. Just ask yourself, “Is there something I can do today to show my spouse I care—to make their load easier or make them smile?” You’re not looking for a reward. You’re doing this just because you love them—just because they’re special to you.
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