Rudyard Kipling once said, “God could not be everywhere, and therefore he made mothers.” It seems as if mothers see all and know all. Being a mom is a big responsibility because God gave us children to teach, train, and mold.
Moms do many tangible things for their kids every day. However, the most important lessons they can teach them are often unseen. Here are a few intangible life lessons mothers can model for their children.
1) Love God
One determining factor of a child’s success in life is their relationship with the Lord. They mirror what they learn from your relationship with the Lord.
Proverbs 22:6 says, “Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it.” A big part of training a child is showing them what a relationship with God looks like. Your relationship with the Lord is not what you do on Sunday. It is the example you set every day. Your kids watch how you act, talk, and walk in love. That’s what they remember and carry into adulthood.
Growing up in my family, church was our entire life. My parents made a point to not only have jobs as a pastor and minister, but to also model their relationship with the Lord.
Every night I watched them read their Bibles and highlight different scriptures. One day I asked, “Mom, what are you doing? How do you know what to read?”
“Denise,” she said, “your dad and I have scriptures we read every night before we go to bed. We are working on different things in our lives and want to build ourselves up in those areas.” I thought it was a great idea. So I found scriptures in my Bible that ministered to me and read them every night. My parents set that example for me.
When my children were young, I used to get up early to spend time with God. One day the Lord spoke to my heart and said, “You’re doing your kids a disservice by never letting them see you spend time with Me.” I did not realize I spent all my personal time with the Lord when my children were asleep. I made a point to let them see me spending time with the Lord. It wasn’t long before they began to imitate what they observed.
2) Be a Good Example of a Wife
It is important for moms to model a healthy marriage. Your relationship with your spouse is the first example your children see of how a wife and husband interact.
Show your daughter how a wife helps her husband so she can learn how to treat her husband one day. If you want your son to choose someone who treats him well, set a good example of how a wife should behave toward her husband. He will know what qualities to look for in a wife when the time comes. Your children should see that the marriage relationship is a priority and that it takes preference over being parents.
3) Forgive Others
Forgiveness isn’t always easy. But when we learn how to forgive others just as God forgave us, it makes our lives better.
There may be times when you lose your cool. Every parent has lost it, yelled at, or punished their children unfairly or out of frustration. When that happens, ask them to forgive you.
When my oldest son was three, we were driving in the minivan. Everything seemed to go wrong that day. My son was in the backseat trying to open a package of Skittles. I didn’t want him to eat candy in the car, so I told him to wait. He began screaming, “I want Skittles!” In my frustration, I reached back to grab the candy. When I did, the package ripped open, and the Skittles went flying all over the place.
Then he began crying, “You threw my Skittles on the ground!” When we arrived at our destination, I said, “Son, Mommy lost her cool. I should not have grabbed your Skittles and thrown them on the ground. I didn’t mean to. I’m so sorry.” He looked at me and said, “That’s okay Mommy. I still love you.” Modeling forgiveness will take your children far in life.
It is the example you set every day. Your kids watch how you act, talk, and walk in love. That’s what they remember and carry into adulthood.Denise Hagin Burns
4) The Value of Friendship
God didn’t create us to be alone. Even Jesus had 12 friends. He knew the value of friendship. As a parent, you need friends. And your kids need to see how people speak into your life.
Your children should have healthy friendships, and you need to know who their friends are. However, it’s equally important to develop a friendship with your kids. That doesn’t mean you stop being their parent—parenting comes first. Eighteen years go by quickly. As your kids become adults, it’s their choice if they talk to you anymore. Get involved in their lives. Become interested in what they like and develop a friendship that extends into adulthood.
Moms, in the midst of everyday life, don’t just concentrate on doing the dishes or laundry, making sure the house is clean, and putting away the toys. While those responsibilities are necessary, they are not what matter most.
What matters is being there for your kids. When a question pops up, use it as a teachable spiritual moment. Take those moments to talk to and spend time with them. No one can teach your children about God the way you can. You are their greatest teacher.
Your kids won’t remember how clean and organized your house was or if the meals were home cooked. They will remember how you treated them, what you modeled in front of them, and if you took the time to interact with them. Choose to focus on teaching your kids godly life lessons. They will remember them for a lifetime.
Denise Hagin Burns
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