WHEN YOU STUDY the Bible, you will find that God has much to say about the care of the family.
Personally, I believe that God’s Word teaches us to take care of our families first—before all other obligations. First Timothy 5:8 (NLT) says, “But those who won’t care for their relatives, especially those in their own household, have denied the true faith. Such people are worse than unbelievers.”
Caring for a family, however, involves more than just providing food, shelter, and clothing. It also involves giving love, discipline, and time to family members. Remember, your children don’t learn just from your words. They also learn from your actions and attitudes. But they can’t pick up their parents’ actions or attitudes if those parents are absent from the home.
I believe that a man’s personal relationship with God, his spouse, their children, and his ministry calling or secular work are to be ranked in that order. Families should not suffer because of your call or job. Yes, there are times you have to be away from your family. But there are also times when your family must come first.
NOBODY CARED ABOUT CURTIS
Any parent can get so involved in their work that their children suffer. Before Lynette and I had children, I coached track. Some parents never came to watch their kids race. Their children worked hard running track every afternoon, but some parents never attended a meet.
One little red-headed boy named Curtis trained especially hard. He couldn’t run fast, but he was good at running long distances. At the city track meet, he won easily. But his parents weren’t there to see their son run.
I watched Curtis through the years. By the time he was in junior high school, he wasn’t involved in anything. Do you know why? Nobody cared.
To win your children, you MUST put forth effort to BUILD a close relationship with them.
WORK AT YOUR RELATIONSHIPS
When my children were young, I was traveling for ministry. It wasn’t easy holding a three-day meeting, rushing to the plane, flying all night with little rest, and then changing into jeans when I got home so I could spend the day with my family. But I did it because my wife and children mattered to me.
To win your children, you must put forth effort to build a close relationship with them. It takes time to build relationships. It takes effort to get involved with your children’s activities after spending a long day at work. It takes sacrifices on the parent’s part to put the children’s interests before their own.
IT’S YOUR RESPONSIBILITY
I believe the Word of God teaches that your spouse and children are your primary responsibility, even above your ministry or job. Children did not ask to be brought into the world. You and your spouse brought them into the world, and God says you are responsible to raise them in the paths of righteousness and godliness.
That responsibility does not belong to a babysitter, a grandmother, or an aunt. It doesn’t matter how much other people may love your children—they cannot give them what you can give them.
It’s time to realize that God does not expect us to shirk our responsibilities in one area so we can pick up another responsibility somewhere else.
Sometimes the call or job must come first and the family second. But that’s not all the time. Let that circle rotate and bring the family up on top the next time. Learn how to let it be a natural rotation: call or job, spouse, children.
When you do that, you will find that you are living a happy, well-balanced family life. This won’t happen, however, without work, tears, and dedication on your part. When my children were young, I shed a few tears over having to leave my family to go preach. I’m dedicated to God’s call, but I’m just as dedicated to my family.
There were times when I had to travel and preach, but there were other times when I let the invitation to preach slide so I could spend time with my wife and the kids.
God’s Word teaches us to TAKE CARE OF OUR FAMILIES FIRST—before all other obligations.
SEEING A SERMON
When Craig and Denise were young, they needed to see me choosing priorities and living life to its fullest. They needed to see me doing that, not just hear about it. (They also saw God’s love at the heart of my decisions.) Because I always made time for them and their needs, I never had to worry about them turning away from God when they got older.
By learning to mesh your call or job and your family life, you will find that your life becomes well-rounded. Your call or job and your spouse and children will rotate naturally, all centered around God.
Your children will see you living the Christian life—not saying one thing and doing another. Although this kind of lifestyle takes dedication to achieve, you will find that life will become beautiful as you learn to keep the proper balance between your call or job and your family.
Author
Kenneth W. Hagin
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